So I loved that book about learning everything that was important in kindergarten (don't remember the exact title but it was fun).  And since I have been on the dating circuit for awhile I started to realize just how much the dating rules also go way back...so here is my version...Everything I Learned About Dating I Learned in Kindergarten:

1. If a boy pulls your hair they like you or they are into S&M (you can decide whether or not that is your thing)
2. If a boy runs away from you on the playground (plays hard to get) run the opposite direction…drama!
3. If they invite you to their birthday party they want cake…interpret that any way you want
4. If a boy stutters, looks embarrassed, looks at his shoes when he talks to you he is totally into you and is probably a really good guy. Give him a chance or at least a second date.
5. If a boy is cocky at the age of 5 he is going to be cocky at the age of 38 and by then he would have slept with your best friend, made a ton of money through shady business deals, drove a Porsche that screams future mid-life crisis and become a power hungry short man with a bald spot
6. If your little friends like him, think he is cute, talks about him a lot or randomly mentions his name-stay away from him. Always put your girls first!
7. If you have fun together he is a keeper. If you both enjoy dodge ball, hide and seek (not like that get your mind out of the gutter), racing down the slide, playing on the jolly jump or baseball it is a positive, always good to have things in common.
8. If you find a guy who lets you eat out of his lunch box (or lets you eat off his plate) do not let this guy get away!! It is even better if his Mom is a good cook.
9. If a guy invites you over for a slumber party…say no…you are not that kind of girl…wait until you are older…much older. I don’t care if he has a cool bunk bed, says he only wants to be friends or has a really cool remote control car…ploys…all ploys.
10. If a guy makes you smile or laugh do not let him get away…that is when you want to become a child bride…just sayin’



It was also about the age of 4 or 5 that I developed a love of falafels. If you are unfamiliar with falafels they are a Middle Eastern food that takes chickpeas and spices, grounds them up and deep fries them and puts them in a pita with sauce and vegetables. I have fond memories of being a young hippy child eating falafels on the Arcata plaza and making friends with random hippy adults. Now that would be considered "stranger danger," but back in the day it was "free love."


However, since it is 2014, Food Network came up with a modern version of falafels, the falafel burger. And of course I had to try it....it was good! It has a lot of good flavor from the cumin, the jalapenos and the cilantro. The creamy yogurt dressing adds a nice tangy kick that is kind of reminiscent of tzatiki sauce minus the cucumber and it just made me happy. I do have to say that since they are pan fried instead of deep fried the consistency is slightly different and they do fall apart a little more readily, but they are still really good.

So to begin with, combine 2 cans of chickpeas, garlic, scallions, cilantro, pickled jalapeno peppers, panko breadcrumbs and cumin into a food processor. The recipe says that you need to chop everything, but I chopped nothing it worked great. I figured the whole purpose of a processor was to well process and chop food so I put everything in there whole and it did the rest.


Next heat the vegetable oil in a pan. Take the chickpea mixture and mush (yes, technical food term) into patties. Cook the patties 3 minutes on each side. They should have a golden crust on the outside and still be soft on the inside.


Next make the yogurt dressing, which consists of well yogurt and the juice from the pickled jalapenos and salt.

Toss the salad greens, chopped tomato, cilantro and scallions in a bowl and dress with half of the yogurt dressing.

Serve the falafel patties on buns on bread and top with yogurt dressing, sliced tomatoes and pickled jalapenos. Serve the salad on the side.

Here is the actual recipe if you want measurements:


Ingredients
2 14 .5-ounce cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed
2 cloves garlic, finely grated
4 scallions (white and light green parts only), chopped
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/3 cup pickled cherry or jalapeno peppers, chopped, plus 2 tablespoons brine from the jar
3/4 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 teaspoon ground cumin
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
3/4 cup plain 2 percent Greek yogurt
Kosher salt
1 6 -ounce bag mixed salad greens
2 tomatoes (1 chopped, 1 sliced)
4 whole-wheat sandwich thins, lightly toasted
Directions
Pulse the chickpeas, garlic, half each of the scallions, cilantro and pickled peppers, the panko and cumin in a food processor until smooth, about 3 minutes. Form into 4 thin 3-inch patties.

Heat the vegetable oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the patties and cook until a golden crust forms, 3 to 4 minutes per side.

Meanwhile, whisk the yogurt with the pickled pepper brine in a medium bowl and season with salt. Toss the salad greens, chopped tomato and the remaining scallions and cilantro with half of the yogurt dressing in a large bowl.

Put the falafel patties on the sandwich thins; top with the sliced tomato and the remaining yogurt dressing and pickled peppers. Serve with the salad.


Happy April Fools Day and Cheers!