So has anyone noticed that you have a specific comfort food? I am finding that I have a specific genre of food that I am currently cooking and I think its because its homey, warm, nurturing and reminds me of my childhood. I have such fond memories of Italian food...lasagna for the holidays, marinara sauce and shellfish when we went to go visit the G-parents, baked ziti on cold winter nights, Italian seafood for Xmas Eve and I could go on and on. And I also remember that as I got older my Mom would make Italian food less and less, however she always seemed to sense when some homemade Italian food was necessary...to mend broken hearts from high school crushes, agony over life decisions or just to commemorate big events like college graduation, first engagement, etc. And of course there was my visit back home a few months ago...complete with homemade pizza that I will always cherish.

I have the fondest homemade pizza memories as a child. My Mom use to spend all day making homemade pizza and I remember when I was very little how excited I would be to help. For example, she would always let me put the dough in the bowl that was slathered with olive oil and I remember my little hands covered in oil and dough...thinking it was the neatest thing ever. I also remember her putting the dough to rise in the oven with a towel over it for hours on end....and me being so impatient as a kid to see how big the dough would grow when we took it out. And then the best part I got to punch down the dough once it did rise. During the dough process she would be cooking the marinara sauce on the stove...again for hours...and often times she would stack the gas burners because the lowest temperature on the stove was still too high to get the perfect simmer. The house would be warm, smell like sauce and the windows would start to steam as I sat at the counter often coloring, reading or just hanging out. Believe it or not I was a pretty laid back and content kid...hmmm wonder where that personality went. And I remember her assembling the pizza and although now she is much more creative with her toppings...back in the day it was always homemade marinara sauce and shredded mozzarella cheese. As a kid pizza to me was cheese pizza and only cheese pizza.

 Right now I am on an Italian food cook...not Italian restaurant...just realized that all of the food I am cooking right now is Italian. As you all know I made agnolotti last week, working on ribollita as we speak and I bought ingredients to make cookies and they are rosemary orange thumbprint tuscano cookies...definitely notice a theme. I guess there is something to be said about family food traditions, carrying on the torch and even when geography poses a challenge to physically being with your family you can remind yourself of those you care about and those who love you by embracing the food memories that stay near and dear to your heart. As I get older I continue to recognize and acknowledge the importance of family. For many years I was all about a career and my drive for success and accomplishments was the only thing that mattered. However, I am finding that I am 35 I am as far as I can go with my career, finished my education and successful in the eyes of many. Yet I am still searching and not completely fulfilled....I recognize now that there is more left to my story and I have not accomplished and achieved all that my legacy will be. I am starting to look back and recognize the gifts that were given to me by people along my journey and also to remember the sacrifices I made and those that I sacrificed to get to where I am today. I am at a place where my relationships mean the world to me and they are what keep me going and although I will never regret anything that happens in my life I do acknowledge that the people with whom I hold closest have not always been the priority they should have. I have much to learn and many to credit for teaching me, holding my hand and loving me through it all.

P.S. Dear knife fairy please come sharpen my knives or buy me new ones...tonight I had to battle with chopping pancetta for my soup and I am pretty sure it won.