Friday, January 24, 2020
My Thoughts On The 1950's Housewife Challenge
Have any of you heard of the 1950’s Housewife Challenge? I
have to admit my free spirited, independent, empowered and self-sufficient part
of myself had a knee jerk reaction of WTF when I first heard about it. However,
I started to think more about it and I started questioning the truth in this
idea. So let’s take a look at this 1950’s Housewife Challenge and ask ourselves
can we be a 1950’s Housewife without disempowering ourselves? Do we even want
to be a 1950’s Housewife? Would we as women get more of what we crave out of
our romantic relationships if we go back to these ideals?
1.
Have Dinner Ready-as you all know I love to cook
and I was raised by a single Mom who worked hard to have dinner on the table. I
personally love this tradition and enjoy showing my affection by nurturing
those I care about with food. Plus, I think this is an awesome time to connect
and share the stories of our days. This characteristic is a full body yes for
me!!
2.
Prepare Yourself-this characteristic refers to
getting ready for your man to come home. Putting on nice clothes, make-up,
whatever makes you feel prepared or put together. Now, speaking from the perspective
of someone who works from home and lives in yoga pants only to go to the gym,
shower, and put on a different pair of yoga pants. I honestly think there is a
time and place for this. I know personally I always feel better about myself
when I spend the time “dressing up” and so it makes sense to me that if you
feel good in your own skin, feel more confident, more sexy, that of course this
reflects outwardly. Do I see myself doing this every night? Um hell to the no!!
But I do truly believe in making an effort and keeping things fun, flirty and
sexy regardless of how long you have been together. So, bitches prepare
yourself! Side note: Preparing yourself can be wearing or doing anything that
makes you feel sexy and confident so rock what makes your heart happy. I have Dodgers knee socks that are sexy AF, but strangely some people would argue otherwise. Hmmm....
3.
Clear Away the Clutter-For the sake of full
disclosure I am notorious for stacking my mail on the table and avoiding
looking at it for as long as humanly possible. I am also the least domestic
person on the planet, which is why I often spend the money to have someone
clean my house. So, I cringed inwardly when I saw the word clutter. However,
that being said I also believe there is nothing better than coming home to a
clean house which is why I invest in hiring a housekeeper once a month to keep
my house clutter-free. I find that it makes me happy, gives me more free time or more time with my future partner,
and decreases the stress in my life to see my floors and bathroom clean. So I
totally love the clear away the clutter idea, but my modern twist is to hire
someone….it is so worth the money!!
4.
Prepare the Children-So, let’s be honest I don’t
have personal experience in this area and I hate when people give me advice on
things they don’t know. So, you all are going to have to tell me what you think
about this one? Valid point or bogus AF? Side note, Miss Anabelle Rose (white
Persian cat who thinks she is a human) is always prepared and looking put
together.
5.
Minimize the Noise-I guess this one probably
depends on your living situation, but what this made me think of is the fact
that we all have a different definition of “noise.” For some people, a house
filled with laughter could be considered “noise,” whereas for me it is absolute
heaven. For some people, the fact that I ALWAYS have a sports game on in the
background could be considered “noise,” but for me its my normal. For some
people, the fact that I listen to jazz music while I cook could be considered “noise,”
but for me its my happy place. When I started to think about this one what
really resonated with me is the fact that I believe when two people come
together after their long days they should minimize the “noise” of the outside
world. I think we should work harder on turning off our phones, focusing on
human connection, and be present with the people we care about. Since that is
my definition of minimizing the noise, I am all for this one!
6.
Don’t greet him with problems or complaints-My
knee jerk reaction to this one was,”well if I have had a shit day I want to tell
the significate person in my life all about it and I want them to have my back
and tell me I am right.” However, when I thought about this in more depth I
thought of the fact that we often all need some time to decompress from our
day. Sure, will there be a time and place to vent about your day? Absolutely!!
But give that special person in your life some space when they come home to
unwind, chill the fuck out, and settle into the home.
7.
Make Him Comfortable-Initially I looked at this
statement as being incredibly subservient and I thought “well shouldn’t we both
make each other comfortable?” Who is to say that his day was any longer than
mine? Holy ego reaction!! However, when I thought about this deeper, I think we
have gotten away from nurturing those we love and we have gotten so busy that
we forget to show love and affection for those we care about. I see so many
couples who sit in a restaurant without talking or sit on their phones instead
of interacting. I know of so many couples who live completely separate lives
and for the sake of transparency I have been in those relationships. However,
what I do know is that complacency is the fastest thing to kill romance and
there is absolutely nothing wrong with showing the person you love that love. I
got called out once for “taking care” of my man when we were out of town and I
realized it wasn’t something I even thought of, it was just something I wanted
to do and I did those actions because it was my way of showing I cared. I found
that it took very little effort to offer to get him coffee, to rub his back as
he fell asleep, to comfort him when he was having a hard time. This isn’t a subservient
make him comfortable, this is a show the person you love how much you care, not
just by your words, but with small actions that can mean the world and is
natural because you feel them in your heart.
8.
Make the Evening His-This was another one that I
had a knee jerk reaction to, but what I believe this boils down to is going
back to the being present idea. When you have time together as a couple make
that time yours, make that time all about the relationship or family, make that
time about connection, making memories, open communication, and creating a life
together. I think we as women often forget how powerful we are and how much we set
the stage. There is so much truth to the statement “happy wife happy life,” but
what this statement leaves out is the fact that it is no ones responsibility
except our own to make us happy. Therefore, ladies we need to live our best
lives, take care of our shit, love ourselves unconditionally, so that we can
love someone else and set the stage for what we want.
9.
Try to make your home a place of peace and order
where your husband can relax-As many of you know I have moved more times than I
can count and what those moves have taught me is that a home can be made
anywhere. Home is about the people and love that is inside it. So, sure make
your home peaceful and in order, but not in the way of making sure my pile of
mail has been put away, making sure I am not speaking my truth so there isn’t
conflict, or making sure I have a full face of make-up on. But there is nothing
wrong with taking care of your king if he is taking care of you! Remember we
aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow and let that be your compass to put everything
into perspective. We all want our home to be our sanctuary, our escape for the
craziness of the world, there is nothing wrong with creating that place for
your husband, significant other, and for yourself.
Side note, the more I thought
about this concept the more I realized how much I actually believe in some of
the traditional gender roles (I hate that phrase). For example, I was once told
to keep the TV out of the bedroom because the bedroom should be fore connection,
intimacy, and sex. I have been in relationships both with and without a TV. I
highly recommend NO TV.
I was also told when I was young
to maintain some secrets from your partner…not the variety of secret like I
slept with your best friend…the variety of secret like you don’t need to see me
put a tampon in or go to the bathroom or floss my teeth. And I think this type
of secret is totally ok.
So, I guess in my opinion when
push comes to shove there is nothing wrong with being a 1950’s Housewife if
that is who you want to be and what you want to do. I don’t think showing love
is disempowering and we all crave love on a basic human need level. When I meet
my King he will have a 1950’s Housewife, but he will also have a strong,
empowered, independent, sassy, high energy woman who speaks her mind and loves
passionately with her whole heart.
That being said, be that 1950’s Housewife
in your own way, which is why I am going to stop writing now and text my
housekeeper to make an appointment, change my yoga pants (but I might add some
lipstick), figure out what I am making for dinner and order the ingredients on
Instacart and teach tomorrow at the police academy because I have a Saturday
side-gig to pay for my shoe habit.
Cheers!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments
(Atom)
Visit My Website!
Subscribe To
Posts
Comments
0 comments:
Post a Comment