Saturday, February 15, 2020
I Made Valentine's Day My Bitch
So as many of you know, for countless years I have been
incredibly cynical about Valentine’s Day. And don’t get me wrong this had
nothing to do with being single or partnered, so I am not just one of those
single angry women. Honestly, I have struggled with the fact that Valentine’s
Day is a commercial holiday, that causes incredibly huge guilt trips and sets
unrealistic expectations. In my opinion, it ends up setting most people up for
failure. That being said I decided to….well….make Valentine’s Day my bitch this
year!!
I decided I can celebrate and I can define what this holiday
means to me. I can also choose how I want to spend it and who I want to spend
it with. So, I decided to invite some of my favorite ladies (and Jason) over and cook for
them, open some great wine, and just chill and celebrate our friendship!! We,
as a society get so wrapped up in “romantic love” that we often forget to
celebrate the love we have for ourselves, our friends, and just take a moment
to be grateful. Cheers to Valentine’s
Day!
Now, just so you don’t think I have gone off the deep end or
I am incredibly drunk at 9 AM, let’s get a little real before I tell you about
the incredible meal I made.
Here are some Valentine’s Day NO NO’s in my book that I have
recently experienced:
1.
You should never ask someone out on a first date
for Valentine’s Day!! Holy pressure!! Not only do I have to decide whether or
not I like you before we have even hung out, I have to decide if you are Valentine's Day worthy! Men, why would you do that to yourself? Why would you do that to me? First
dates are bad enough, why would you want the pressure of having to knock it out
of the park on Valentine’s Day? Bad idea!! Very bad idea!! And unfortunately
your poor decision making has now led you to getting rejected for Valentines
Day. #oopsie
2.
Do not text someone Happy Valentine’s Day at
0430 if we are not sleeping together. The only time I like to be awake at 0430
is when I am waking up to go on a tropical vacation and I have a plane to
catch or for really hot sex. Hell, even if we are sleeping together I don’t know if I want a text
from you at 0430. When I get a text at 0430, I am pretty sure someone has died,
not exactly thinking of sunshine or roses. After receiving said text, I am just
angry, can’t fall back to sleep, and I hate you. Not a good move!!
3.
This is a follow-up to #2. Do not text me at
0430 when you have a girlfriend. Hell, let’s make this one more specific, if
you have a girlfriend, wife or someone who thinks that they are dating you, I
do not need to hear from you on Valentine’s Day or any day. So, after waking me up at 0430 you want to tell me about the romantic day you have played with said girlfriend. Um go f-yourself!
4.
If you know me because you are a friend of my
parents, please do not ask me out. When you have memories of me at the age of
5, wearing pigtails, being carried on someones shoulders, and with a face full
of freckles, that probably means you are too old to date me. Hmmm this is just
a full body no for me. Ok, sure I still have the freckles, but hell to the no my man!
5. Do not
slide into my DM at 2359 hrs (11:59PM) trying to get Happy Valentine’s Day
credit!! First of all, you do not get credit and you are now giving me belated
Happy Valentine’s Day texts!! Epic fail!! Secondly, I wasn’t born yesterday you
are fishing for a Valentine’s Day booty call. Still, epic fail!!
Now, let’s talk food!! Last night I made crab cakes that were pretty damn awesome, if I say so myself. They were the perfect amount of crabby and the perfect amount of crispy. I am a little critical of crab cakes because they can be too doughy or they can have so many add-ins that they no longer taste like crab. But this recipe is seriously spot on! Try it and you will not be disappointed!! There is a minimal amount of panko bread crumbs and the add ins include parsley, mayo, a little mustard, garlic, and some spices....nothing too overpowering to take away from the crab taste. And if I haven't sold you on this recipe yet, you bake them after you fry them with extra butter on top. Delightful!
** My notes are in blue. **
Step 1
Place the crabmeat in a large mixing bowl, pinching through the pile with your fingers to find any bits of shell and to break up large pieces. Let's be real, it is worth it to pay the extra money and buy the crab already cracked. This allows you to eat crab while you cook and right now the crab is super fresh and amazing. Do it! And you will not be disappointed. Add the mayonnaise, mustard, 1/4 cup of the bread crumbs, parsley, green onions, garlic, salt, and pepper; fold to combine. Add the eggs and fold to combine.
To form patties, on a tray, pat about 1/4 cup of the mixture into a 2 1/2-inch round cutter, then lift off the cutter, forming 16 cakes. I didn't bother using a cookie cutter,, I just formed them with my hands. I figured I passed geometry, barely, but I passed, and so I know generally what a circle looks like. And they tasted great and you squish/flatten them when you fry them anyway so don't waste the time. Cover with plastic wrap, press lightly, and chill at least 30 minutes. This is actually a really important step as it helps firm up the mixture and I also found that it got rid of some of the excess moisture. I actually let them stay in the fridge closer to an hour, so I could drink a glass of wine and hang with my friends and they were happy in the fridge. For clarification the crab cakes were happy in the fridge and not my friends. I don't put my friends in the fridge.
Step 3
Preheat oven to 350°F. Place remaining bread crumbs in a shallow dish. I didn't get a pic of me breading the crab cakes because well my hands were covered in bread crumbs and crab cakes. Sorry guys!
Step 4
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a 12-inch skillet. Heat over medium-high heat. Lightly dredge both sides of 8 cakes in bread crumbs and add to skillet. Press lightly with a spatula and cook for 1 to 2 minutes per side or until golden brown. We did cook them for a little longer in the pan just to get them a little more golden brown. Transfer to a shallow baking pan. Repeat with remaining cakes, adding more oil, if necessary. Top each cake with a slice of butter and bake for 5 minutes. I didn't use as much butter as the recipe called for, probably actually closer to half and they turned out great. Sprinkle with paprika and serve with lemon wedges. I used smoked paprika as I like the flavor and that worked great!
Step 3
Preheat oven to 350°F. Place remaining bread crumbs in a shallow dish. I didn't get a pic of me breading the crab cakes because well my hands were covered in bread crumbs and crab cakes. Sorry guys!
Step 4
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a 12-inch skillet. Heat over medium-high heat. Lightly dredge both sides of 8 cakes in bread crumbs and add to skillet. Press lightly with a spatula and cook for 1 to 2 minutes per side or until golden brown. We did cook them for a little longer in the pan just to get them a little more golden brown. Transfer to a shallow baking pan. Repeat with remaining cakes, adding more oil, if necessary. Top each cake with a slice of butter and bake for 5 minutes. I didn't use as much butter as the recipe called for, probably actually closer to half and they turned out great. Sprinkle with paprika and serve with lemon wedges. I used smoked paprika as I like the flavor and that worked great!
I finished the night with Chocolate Lava Cakes and well of course we drank some good wine. So, I am a happy girl this morning as I sit here reminiscing and drinking my coffee....because ya know what....I Made Valentine's Day My Bitch! Cheers to next year!!
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