I can hardly believe that it has been almost two years since I found myself sitting in an airport bar flying to Virginia for a job interview, watching as the NBA shut down their season and my state started to close up. I remember talking to the traveling sales man next to me and we laughed about a 2 week stay at home order, both celebrating traveling less for work, just for a bit. 

And yet here we sit, continuing to fight this pandemic, watching friends and family struggle with their health, missing loved ones, and dealing with a fear that we have never known in our lifetimes. I think we have all felt the gamut of emotions - Fuck will this ever end? Will I get sick and/or die? Am I going to get my family sick? When can I just go eat at a restaurant again? Why does my face keep breaking out in this mask? And countless other questions/emotions we have encountered along the way.

But as the holidays approach, I wanted to pause and make a few observations, a bit of a pandemic reflection of sorts. For the record, this is not a political post. I am vaccinated and I have had a booster. I do wear a mask. But also no judgment if you have made other choices.

I had high hopes that this pandemic would unify our country and the people in it, kind of a cause that we could all share. I remember the days after September 11th, when all of us had so much love and empathy for each other, a joint pain. And although I never hope for another 9/11, I was hoping the pandemic would bring us closer to love, and father away from hate. I have witnessed the opposite impact as we have become more and more divided with each day, and for me personally that has been the biggest heart break.

Instead of the pandemic reminding us of what is important - family, friends, survival, a roof over our heads, and food on our table, we have found reasons to judge. I have been disappointed to watch the fighting unfold, both on social media, and within my own family and friend circle. The arguments over vaccinations, masks, political parties, statistics, and news articles. I don't understand how survival has become a Republican or a Democrat issue. I fail to comprehend how I can't love my neighbor because of their personal health choices, or even worse persecuting them for those ideas. 

Sure, I have my personal beliefs, just like everyone, but why are my beliefs the right ones? Why should I criticize the beliefs of others? My personal attitude is that I will do what it takes to get over this pandemic - wear a mask, get a vaccine or 7, but if that is not the road for you, I still respect you, and see no need to use this as a platform for hate. I especially don't understand the arguing. If you differ in beliefs, stay the fuck away from each other. Do you honestly think any level or arguing will change someones opinion? Do you think fighting will make the pandemic better? Do you think it will help our country or our world recover from this faster?

This year my family has decided to get together, although an abbreviated celebration. They are requiring vaccinations and a Covid test before the celebration. It is not at my house and I respect and love my Aunt and Uncle who are hosting. It does not matter to me what they require. The bottom line is that it is at their house, and just like before Covid I would respect their wishes, I respect their wishes now. It doesn't matter if they want me to wear a mask in their house, stand outside and yell at them from the doorway, because what really matters is my fucking family is alive, able to be together, able to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas. And sure my family love to cook and drink wine so I am even more excited that we get to do both, but not only during this holiday season, but during the last 2 years we have lost sight of what is fucking important. 

Let me take a moment to tell you what I am grateful for. My family and friends are alive, and not everyone has been so lucky. My family and friends get to be together to celebrate the magic of Christmas, and not everyone is able to. I do have food on the table and a roof over my head, where as there are plenty of people who do want for basic necessities right now.  I haven't been sick and those that are close to me who have been sick have been able to recover. I have incredible people in my life who love me and whom I love. I have looked death in the face, in my past, and I got the most amazing gift to survive and live another day.

And so I just ask you to take a pause this week, a pause in the fighting, a pause in the hate, and remember the true meaning of this season, or hell the true meaning of life everyday, and love your neighbor, be grateful, even if its for the smallest aspect of your life. And my prayer for this Christmas, New Year and everyday after is to please love, just love.