Sunday, March 24, 2019
Come to Find out Kimchi Explodes!! Broccoli Fried Rice with Kimchi Cream
Let me start by saying this is not the first explosion I have had in my kitchen, and since we are being honest, it will probably not be my last. However, normally when explosions occur in my kitchen, it doesn't totally catch me off guard....well maybe that is not completely accurate...but the kimchi surprised me!!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with kimchi, it is a Korean salted and fermented cabbage. It can actually be made with a variety of different vegetables, however cabbage is the most common. Back in the day, this fermenting process was used to preserve the cabbage, out of necessity since come to find out refrigerators weren't always a thing.
Now I discovered that kimchi is an explosive device while trying to make Broccoli Fried Rice with Kimchi Cream. I found the recipe in Cooking Light and I decided to give it a try, after returning from a girls wine tasting weekend, in which there was a fair amount of wine and cheese consumption. I decided a vegetarian and light recipe might be a good choice for me tonight.
I also kind of can't believe I am sharing this embarrassing moment, but since you all know way too much about me as it is, well let me just give you another little tid bit. I have always been a little bit on the gullible side or maybe we should just say that nothing surprises me so I accept "facts" without question sometimes too easily.
So early on in my Dispatch career, in the middle of a night shift, one of the Sergeants was in the center. He was talking about his daughter and so I asked, "oh what is her name?" Seems like an innocent enough question, right? Well he proceeded to tell me that his daughters name was "Kimchi." And so of course I repeated it, making sure I got the pronunciation correct because having a unique name I am cognizant of butchering other peoples names. He continued to verify that his daughters name was truly Kimchi and so I went with it....until I met his wife....who mentioned their daughter named JoAnn. You can only imagine my surprise and confusion and he continues to love to tease me about the fact that I believed he would name his daughter after fermented cabbage. Hell stranger things have happened, right!!
Back to the food, the first step in this recipe involves crisping the bacon. The recipe calls for center cut bacon because there is less fat. However, I did find that it doesn't crisp quite as well as regular bacon so my bacon didn't get as crispy as I normally like my bacon. It did still provide good flavor, just not the same texture as regular bacon.
Remove the bacon once it is "crisp" and cook the chopped broccoli in the bacon fat. Cover and cook for 5 minutes and then remove the broccoli.
Next, add sesame oil to the pan. Add the cooked brown rice, green onions and a 1/2 teaspoon of sugar. I questioned what that small amount of sugar was for, but I figured I would just go with it because I was too hungry to Google. Yeah that is how you know I am seriously starving because I usually make time for my Google fix.
Once the rice has cooked for 5 minutes, create a hole in the center of the rice and add the beaten eggs. Cook the eggs, stirring often, to form scrambled eggs. Add the soy sauce, bacon and broccoli back to the pan and heat up.
Once I cleaned up my mess, the food processor just mixed all of the ingredients for the Kimchi Cream together and it actually had great flavor. I purchased spicy Kimchi just because I love a little spice. I actually really liked the recipe. I love fried rice and this was definitely a healthier version as I used brown rice, less oil, broccoli instead of meat and center cut bacon. I am actually feeling pretty darn good about my healthy eating habits in this moment....we aren't talking about the rest of the weekend.
Here is the actual recipe from Cooking Light:
Step 1
Cook bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium until crisp, about 5 minutes. Transfer bacon to a plate (do not wipe out skillet). Add broccoli to skillet; cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until broccoli is crisp-tender, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a bowl.
Step 2
Add sesame oil to skillet; increase heat to medium-high. Add rice, scallions, and sugar; cook, stirring occasionally, until warmed through, about 5 minutes. Push rice mixture to edges of skillet to create a hole in center. Add eggs to center; cook, stirring often, until mostly cooked, about 1 minute. Stir in soy sauce, bacon, and broccoli. Remove from heat.
Step 3
Process kimchi and kimchi juice, yogurt, mayonnaise, and salt in a food processor until mostly smooth.
Step 4
Divide fried rice among 4 bowls. Top each with 2 tablespoons kimchi cream; garnish with scallions.
Enjoy and don't forget to be careful and open the kimchi over the sink. You are welcome!!
Tuesday, March 19, 2019
I Married the Badge
I had been a Dispatcher for 10 years before I met the cop
that was going to be my husband. And good, bad or otherwise I had spent plenty
of time with the guys and I felt like I knew Police Officers fairly well. I
also wasn’t some sweet young thing and so I felt like I knew men even better.
However, let me tell you there are quite a few things that no one talks about in
regard to being married to the badge.
First of all, let me give a shout out to the incredible
group of cops wives that I know, love and learned from. Because just like there
is a brotherhood on the street, there is an even tighter group of women behind
those badges and I had the honor, privilege, and joy to experience these lovely
ladies first hand. So, cheers to all of you and you know who you are!! Whether
you are still married, divorced, single or widowed…cheers ladies you are
fucking amazing!!
Secondly, I was married to a damn good cop and an even
better person. He truly treated people with respect and that was across the
board-gang members, criminals, neighbors, friends and family. He got into the
profession for the right reasons and he cared about the job that he did, the
community he served, and he truly recognized that it was a privilege and an
honor to protect and serve. That being
said, I don’t know how my ex-husband will feel about me writing this, so let’s
just hope he doesn’t see this. Pretty sure he stopped following my blog after
the divorce was final and if not well….oopsie!!
However, I can’t say I went into the relationship blind or unknowing
or ignorant. I would say my eyes were wide open, but there are quite a few
things about being marrying the badge that no one ever talks about.
1.
Being married to an Officer means you will never
be the priority. And not because he doesn’t want to make you a priority, but
because he took an oath and with that oath comes a responsibility so much greater
than those marriage vows. As a Dispatcher we often talk about how we often have
to prioritize and consider where we can do the greatest good or save the most
lives. That is what an officer does, often having to choose between his
personal and professional life. And if
that means giving up Christmas with the family to go evacuate neighborhoods
that are under wildfire evacuation orders, he will not be sitting at the head
of that table, and you have to understand that.
2.
Being married to an Officer means that you have to
look death in the face. For many people death is something that happens to
someone else, someone maybe on the news or in social media. However, when you
love a cop it is something you have to think about, plan for, be realistic
about and deal with. I knew that if BM and JM came to my door in uniform, they
were not there to grab a beer, they were there to deliver the most horrific news
that any person in uniform will ever have to deliver. And I also knew that I had
to prepare myself for that moment, even if it never came. I knew that my
husband would want me to honor him, be proud of him and respect him, whether he
was alive or dead and that was my responsibility that came with that ring on my
finger. That was my reality and the reality of the spouses in LE every single
day.
3.
Being married to an Officer means that you look
at your life as a tactical operation. I went through the majority of my life
not thinking twice about where I sat in a restaurant, where the exit doors are
located in any commercial building or I walked through a mall with no
situational awareness at all. However, part of the responsibility of being
married to a cop comes with the fact that they are armed, their face is known and
not just to good people, and that YOU can be used as a weapon against them
because knowledge is power. What normal couples take for granted, like holding
hands, was something that just wasn’t done in my house, not because he didn’t
care, but because he never wanted me to be a victim because of who he was or
what he did for a living. I learned that if he was approached by someone I didn’t
know and they started the conversation off with,” Sergeant….” I walked away. I
learned that his wedding ring was very rarely on his finger. I learned that he
needed to do, be and act certain ways so he felt safe and that was his way of
keeping his family safe.
4.
Being married to an Officer means you married
the badge, the uniform, the department and the other officers on the force.
When I walked down that aisle, I wasn’t just gaining a husband, I was gaining
an entire family. Sure, I knew comradery from being a Dispatcher, but when you
marry into a department you gain the entire group of them and let me tell you
they travel in packs. My house was constantly full of uniforms and their
families and I loved giving them a safe place to smoke cigars, drink beer,
watch sports, tell bad jokes, play games, and just relax. They are so on for so
much of their lives, it was an honor and privilege to make sure they always had
food on the table, a cocktail in hand and a smile on their face. And believe
you me, us spouses got just as much out of those get togethers…. because
unfortunately it is almost impossible to share this lifestyle with those who
haven’t lived it.
5.
Being married to an Officer means they take the
work home. Sure, we all know we should try and leave work at the door, but in
the law enforcement profession that is just straight up not possible and not
reality. And this is not just a normal career, where the stress of the job
involves too much paperwork, deadlines or quotas. The stress of this job involves
making sure they actually come home each and every night. I learned that my husband
needed time to decompress when he came home every day. Not because he wasn’t
happy to see me, he just needed to shed the weight of the world off of his
shoulders, and he needed to do that alone. I learned that sometimes he needed
to talk about the horrors that he saw during his shift and other times he
needed to just drink or play hockey or go out with the guys and get lost. I
learned that he saved lives for a living, and although there is some reward,
there is also a hell of a lot of responsibility that comes with that which can
lead to a lot of sleepless nights, moody moments, and quiet tears in the shower.
6.
Being married to an Officer means you are
married to a hero. They touch lives each and everyday and they may not know it
or even when they do it is still a credit less job. However, the fact that they
rarely get a thank you from their department, the public that they serve, or
their co-workers makes it even more important that they get it when they get
home. Because there is nothing worse than fighting for your life to make it
home to your family, only to get rejected when you walk through that door. I
learned that you need to continue to give them a reason to fight and fight hard
and fight for their life because if they lose that will to fight, it can mean
the difference between that 6’4” black-haired blue-eyed man walking through
your door or a casket.
7.
Being married to an Officer means they aren’t
going to tell you everything. The reality is that they are going to see, do,
experience and live horrific things. And they are not going to talk with you
about everything, not because they don’t trust you, not because they don’t care
and not because they are trying to lie to you, but because they are straight up
trying to protect you. They don’t always want to take away your innocence and
so they keep it to themselves, they vent to their buddies over a beer or they
kick the shit out of some random hockey player who skated a little too close to
that goalie net.
8.
Being married to an Officer means you have a “new
normal.” They do not work a normal Monday-Friday 8-5 schedule. They work
nights, weekends and holidays. They get called in as you are trying to go out
of town. They are going to miss birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. However,
what I can tell you is that they need you to help them create a new normal. So
celebrate those holidays even if it’s two weeks late, set that alarm to see
them when they get off night shift if you haven’t seen them in four days, put
dinner on the table because they haven’t had a hot meal in 6 days, leave notes
on the table reminding them that they actually live with their spouse even if
you work opposite shifts, and meet them at the door with hugs and not guilt
trips for missing another sporting event, family event, date night or flight
out of town.
9.
Being married to an Officer you need to remember
to love every day like it’s the last….because we never know if it truly will be.
10.
Being married to an Officer you need to remember
to not blame the job for the problems in the relationship. I can honestly say that
my divorce was not because he was a cop. My divorce was because we are two
amazing people who wanted very different things from life. I always said the
same things that made my ex-husband fall in love with me were the exact same things
that led to our demise. I understand that in a job that has so much chaos, he
craved control and normalcy, where as I live my life like it is a constant
adventure. I am so happy that he was able to find what he needed and wanted and
let me tell you I have been on one hell of a wild ride! However, I am still
thankful to have the reminder that there are amazing men and women in this
profession protecting our streets and that he is one of them.
“To the world you are one person, but to one person you are
the world.”
Monday, March 18, 2019
Everything I Learned About Life I Learned Being a 911 Dispatcher
In my past life, I was a 911 Dispatcher. I spent nearly 20 years
of my life answering the phone and listening to people in crisis. I worked a radio
handling pursuits, shootings, structure fires, extrications, domestics, death
and destruction. And I heard people take their last breaths, I gave CPR
instructions to a mother trying to save her 6-month-old daughter, I heard screams,
children crying, gunshots and tears. I heard my cops scream as they got
ambushed, shot at, injured and scared. I heard my firefighters roll up on horrific
traffic accidents involving their own family members, try to save lives, and
fight for lives that were beyond saving.
As many of you know I wrote a memoir a few years back. I
told my “war stories” and I talked about the times that I believed I made a
difference, those calls that haunt me, those situations that I so desperately
wanted to end with a happy ending, but life isn’t a Hollywood movie, and being
a Dispatcher is messy and unfortunately not full of fairytale closure. I
decided not to publish the book, it felt too personal and I felt like I was
sharing stories of those that I didn’t know if they wanted shared. It is
impossible to write about a career like this without talking about the people
involved-the victims, the officers, the firefighters, the suspects, the
spouses, the broken, the downtrodden and the witnesses…and at the end of the
day they should get to choose whether or not they want to tell their stories. The
stories I mention here are devoid of distinguishing details, are only my
personal accounts and are kept vague on purpose.
I have been out of the profession nearly 4 years and I have
to admit I miss it every day. Sure, I sleep better, sure the nightmares are
less frequent, maybe I don’t replay those “what ifs” in my head like I use to.
But I do miss feeling like I am making a difference, making sure my boys are
going home safe to their families every night, that adrenalin rush you get from
working a hot call, that comradery that comes with being a part of something so
much bigger than yourself.
And it is so weird that people I meet now have no clue about
the career I had that was once so much a part of my identity. I find that I don’t
talk about it to people who didn’t know me back in the day, afraid that they
won’t understand that part of me. It is too hard to explain that after being in
public safety we all carry a certain level of pain, that we all have these
emotions that we are afraid to feel because once the tears start they won’t be
able to stop. But I can tell you I loved every second of being a 911 Dispatcher
and damn that career taught me everything I know-the good, the bad, the
beautiful, and the ugly.
Here is what I learned about life from being a 911
Dispatcher:
1.
Live like there’s no tomorrow. Life is not
guaranteed. I started as a 911 Dispatcher when I was young, very young. I
thought I was invincible, and I was naïve, full of life and innocence. I truly
was the walking epitome of “ignorance is bliss.” The very first call I answered
was a high school classmate being shot in a drive by shooting. And I learned
quickly I was wrong. So I repeat life is
not guaranteed.
2.
We are put into peoples lives for a reason.
Sometimes those reasons are amazingly joyous, like the time I got to give a
wife CPR instructions, to her husband of 30 years. She was able to save him after he collapsed
from a heart attack. And sometimes they are only to hear someone’s last words,
sobs and apologies before they make a choice to take their own life, the last
thing you hear being a gun shot and the phone dropping to the floor of the car.
Both situations very different, but I was there to witness what those
individuals wanted and needed in those difficult moments.
3.
Keep laughing. There is no coincidence that the
public safety profession is wrought with sarcastic and dark humor. Sure, there
is a great deal of cynicism out there, and some may argue that it is a survival
mechanism. However, I believe it is much greater than that. I made the choice
to laugh instead of cry because that phone kept ringing, emergencies continued
to happen and I knew I wouldn’t be able to help anyone if I was crying and
rocking in a corner, so I choose to laugh. When I hung up the phone with a man
who had just found his wife dead, covered in blood, of course I wanted to cry.
I am human. However, the next 911 line started ringing and it was not my turn
to cry, it was my turn to keep my chin up and do my job, try to help the next
person. I chose to put on my big girl
panties, put a smile on my face, crack that sarcastic comment and get back in
the game, regardless of the fact that the call I just hung up with wanted to
bring me to my knees. And ya know what I have taken that life lesson and
applied it to every aspect of my life.
4.
In this family nobody fights alone. I had never
experienced a team, a family or friendships like I experienced in public
safety. And I quickly learned about loyalty, having each other’s backs, the
thin blue line, and being willing to sacrifice for those you care about. As a
Dispatcher, when you are making split second life and death decisions you
become close with your co-workers on a completely different level. When you go
to work every night and you feel a sense of responsibility as to whether or not
they go home to their families at the end of their shift there is a level of
reliance, commitment, comradery that is unprecedented. However, what I have
learned is that we should have those relationships both in our personal and
professional lives. I have made a conscientious effort to create an incredible
tribe of friends in which we celebrate our good times, pick each other up
during the bad, are fiercely protective and way too fucking honest with each
other. And those friendships mean more to me than anything else on this planet.
5.
Don’t get comfortable. Every time I thought I was
getting comfortable in my career something more bizarre, more intense, more
outrageous or more scary occurred to quickly put me in my place. Sure, I could
handle a pursuit, officers screaming on the radio, firefighters breathing like
Darth Vader through their masks, all like I was taking a walk in the park. I
was calm under pressure and I knew it. But be careful what you wish for because
if one officer shooting was bad, you were going to get several officers
shooting, multi-jurisdictions, 110 rounds fired, in a close quarter gun battle
(all hypothetical of course). Same goes for life, the minute we get comfortable
and complacent, a curve ball will be tossed in your direction, and it will
occur at the most unexpected time or by a person who drop kicks you on your ass
(also all hypothetical).
6.
Be the reason someone smiles. Dispatchers are
the calm in the storm, the strength when others are weak. When I was a “baby
Dispatcher” I often got teased for sounding too happy on the radio. The guys
would often tell me they couldn’t tell if I was dispatching a robbery or
talking to my best friend while sitting on the sofa. However, I was also told
that my shift would hear my voice hit the radio and they knew at that point
they were safe, they knew they could go out and start doing self-initiated
activity, wreaking havoc and being proactive, because I would keep them safe. I
was told that my pursuits sounded like a conversation between me and one of the
guys, just shooting the shit. That was the single biggest compliment I received
in my 20-year career and so I continue to be the reason that someone smiles.
7.
Happily ever after is not guaranteed. Not every
story has a happy ending. And I learned all too well that no amount of prayers,
pleading, negotiation, preparation or training can truly prepare you for every
aspect of this career. I had a rollover accident into a body of water involving
two teenage boys and I had never heard a group of firefighters work so hard in
their entire lives to try and save those two young men. I never saw a team work
so seamlessly as I did that night between the Dispatchers, Officers and Fire
crews, yet at the end of the day, we all went home with tears in our eyes and
heavy hearts. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how hard we fight, how bad we want
it, real life doesn’t always end with a pretty package and a big red bow.
8.
At the end of the day none of us are in control.
I used to like to think I was in control. I liked to believe that if I was good
at my job than my officers were going home. I liked to tell myself that I was a
damn good Dispatcher and because I could handle the worst of the worst I was in
control. But I can also tell you every single person in this profession has had
at least one incident that reminds us that we are not in control. One of mine
started off completely mundane, a burglar alarm to a business, something the
officers respond to countless times a day. We always send two officers, just in
case, but we are all confident that a just in case will not occur. So I sent
two officers, one of them being a close friend as I was in his wedding, at the
hospital when his daughter was born. On this particular evening, the suspect had
already made entry into the business by the time my officers arrived. He saw
them checking the building, watching them through a large plate glass window. As
the officer approached the window he chose to dive through the window, ambushing
he officer, in an attempt to escape. The blood curdling screams, fear and surprise
in that officers voice was by far the most terrifying thing I have ever heard.
So my badge still sits on the dresser next to my bed. ID
#5136 no longer defines me, but it still has a piece of my heart. Just because
I am 10-7 doesn’t mean that I don’t celebrate what the profession taught me, honor
and respect those that continue to fight for my freedom and safety every day,
love how the career shaped me, raised me and taught me about life. In this
profession, countless men and women make immeasurable sacrifices to protect and
serve all of us, our country, our communities, our families. It is a thankless
profession and yet they continue to get up every day, put on that uniform,
headset, badge, and do their job to the best of their ability. Thank you! #thinblueline
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Cinderella is a Liar!! (this blog is not about food and be prepared for adult content and bad language it is f'ing reality folks)
Cinderella is a liar. I, like countless women throughout the
world, were raised on the fairytale love story of Cinderella. Therefore, I have
spent my entire life dropping shoes at random locations waiting for my Prince
Charming. And let me just tell you this whole glass slipper process is the easy
part, it is maintaining the happily ever after which is where I feel like a
victim of fairytale fraud.
Relationships are just straight up hard work and anyone who
tells you something different is either lying to you or themselves or they have
a less than conscientious love. In my experience Prince Charming doesn’t just
rush me off to the castle in the clouds, he has led me either to divorce court
or a counselors office. The reality of relationships is that they are 75%
hardwork and 25% fun. Let me share with you what I have learned.
1.
Complacency is the fastest thing to kill a
relationship. You just don’t have the option of turning into a pumpkin and
letting life pass you by.
2.
Cinderella looks sweet and innocent, but
sometimes she just has to be a whore. In order to keep the relationship
inspiring there needs to be some spice in life and if it is not maintained in a
controlled environment, life will create it for you.
3.
Cinderella and Prince Charming were never even
shown exchanging more than 2 words and that is just not the way to a fairytale
love. Communication is truly the key and it never stops. The process of getting
to know that handsome love next to you truly never stops.
4.
No matter how amazing your prince is you still
need to put in the work because at the end of the day you fell in love with a
human. And there is no human that is perfect, only the human that is perfect
for you, and even those come with work.
5.
The birds and mice do not clean our houses and
so those everyday tasks of cleaning the house, raising children, working and
trying to maintain a social life takes its toll on the relationship. It makes
the relationship mundane and boring if you let it.
6.
The story of Cinderella was a story based on a
moment in time and for all I know Cinderella also ended up single and drinking
wine with the girls. But all joking aside I feel like sometimes people come into
our lives for a season and just because there is a ring on your finger or a
glass slipper on your foot, they might not be your happily ever after forever
and we shouldn’t play small in keep people in our lives who don’t want to grow
with us. She could be on Prince Charming III by now or a lesbian, hell it is
2019!
7.
Cinderella heard that clock strike midnight and
she straight up fucking ran. That is a story I know way too well. I spent
countless years running from myself, running from emotions and running from
men. Let me tell you that sometimes we need to stop running and face the music because
the only way to truly get to the level of intimacy and connection that we all
crave, with ourselves and others, is stop and deal with our shit. And let me
tell you, from someone who is a recovering sprinter, standing and fighting is a
hell of a lot less fun.
8.
Cinderella made all of the little girls of my
generation grow up believing that a happily ever after can’t be achieved
without a horse drawn carriage, a tall, dark and handsome man and some rocking
shoes. But let me tell you, I have one out of three, the shoes. And I have a
pretty damn amazing life, complete with a successful career, amazing friends
and family and some crazy awesome adventures throughout this incredible world.
9.
Cinderella demonized the step-family. Well,
there Little Miss Fairytale, the reality is that there are a hell of a lot more
step-families today and coming from experience, getting to be a part of a childs
life, whether they are biologically yours or not is an incredible gift. And I can
tell you that I miss those girls a hell of a lot more than I have ever missed
their father. They truly were two of the most precious gifts in my life and I am
so blessed that I had the time with them that I did. So
10.
Cinderella also showed all of the little girls
of my generation that we should keep our mouths shut, our legs crossed, and
play small just cleaning the house and singing with the birds. Well, I am here
to set this one straight! This is absolute bullshit! Ladies, speak your truth,
sleep with the men you want to sleep with and go big or go home!! Cinderella
was a liar!!
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