Ladies, when did we stop listening to our intuition? 

It is called "women's intuition" for a reason, however it seems to be becoming more and more common for us to ignore it, tell it that it's wrong, avoid listening to it, or numb so we can no longer hear the voice. But speaking from experience, as I have tried all of these techniques over the years, why would I want to silence the one thing designed to keep me safe (emotionally and physically)?

Sure, we could probably talk all day about the societal issues causing us to suppress her voice or the childhood trauma that got us to where we are today. But instead I want us to pause and think about the times she has made a difference in our lives and here are a few of mine.

There was the time I was on a bus at a conference and a man sat next to me and started talking to me. Since I was an employee of the company hosting the conference, of course I engaged in conversation. Something felt off, but I continued to smile. The bus stopped at my hotel and I got up to get off and he followed me off the bus, even though earlier he had mentioned he was not staying there. I went to the gift shop to get water because my intuition was telling me something was wrong. I bought my water and walked to the elevator and he was standing outside the bank of elevators looking for me. I did not get on that elevator. He found my company profile on the conference app and started messaging me. I ended up having to complain to my company. My intuition was right.

I had everything. My life from the outside looked perfect. I had the husband, the successful career, the house, the dog, and the life that I had always thought I wanted. I went to a spin class that was completely dark and as that loud music played, I cried. I felt like I was living a lie, like I was in a life that was not mine. I felt like I should be happy, should be grateful and yet my intuition was screaming at me that I was not living the life I was meant to live. I came home, I sat on our couch and I asked for a divorce. I moved out shortly and it was not because I didn't love my husband, I just didn't love my life. I never looked back and my life is nothing like the life I expected it to be, but my intuition was screaming that I needed to live differently, love differently and experience life on a whole different level.I have not looked back and I am grateful. 

I felt like I was a runaway train. I was traveling 50 weeks a year. I was living out of a suitcase. I was drinking every night, partying until late, and getting up hours later to put on business clothes and teach, as I traveled the country. I felt nothing and I was numbing and I was running. I was taking pictures of my hotel room numbers because I couldn't remember my hotel room from one week to the next. I was constantly losing my car in the airport parking lot. I did not see my friends or my family. When I was home all I wanted to do was sleep. I smiled on the outside, but the pain was dark and deep on the inside. I was hit head on by a driver that ran a red light while texting. The doctor came into my room in the trauma unit and told me I broke my neck. My first thought was that I had to stop. I hadn't been listening to my intuition and so she had to find a way to stop me. I stopped.

He would not look me in the eyes. He looked everywhere, but at me. There was nothing that needed to be said because anything that came out his mouth would have been lies, but I knew. I felt it in my stomach, there was someone else. The distance was not due to stress at work, it was not due to being overwhelmed, it wasn't because I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, sexy enough or successful enough. But damn there was someone else. My intuition knew. 

I have recently started to think of all of those times that it came through for me and saved me from myself or others. The times it saved me physically while I traveled alone or saved me emotionally from destroying myself in a relationship not meant for me. Or to be honest, those times I ignored it and I ended up broken hearted and destroyed.  And so in my life today (work in progress) I give it a seat at the table, so that it has a voice. I am a woman and I have been blessed with an intuition that has been designed to guide me, save me, love me, show up for me, and trust me. I want her to have a voice and I want to listen.